Military Partners and Families Coalition

MPFC is proud to partner with Service Women’s Action Network (SWAN) in presenting the Truth & Justice: 2012 Summit on Military Sexual Violence. This one day conference represents the first time in history that survivors of military sexual violence and their families will gather collectively to organize for institutional change, and will feature key panels by military law and policy experts on major topics involving military sexual violence and survivors’ access to justice. The conference will take place on May 8th in Washington DC.

Registration is still open and allies are also welcome. We would love MPFC friends to
attend, spread the word, and consider supporting over 50 veterans who have applied for scholarships to be able to go to Capitol Hill to share their stories. Any questions, please contact summit@servicewomen.org.

 Military Partners and Families Coalition (MPFC) will join the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), Courage Campaign, and Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) in sponsoring the first OutServe Capital Summit, to be held May 14-15 in Washington, DC. The two-day event will focus on the theme “Our Families Matter.”

“Partnering with OutServe on this summit is important to us as members of a community that for many years has been hidden, silenced, and completely unsupported,” said MPFC President, Ariana Bostian-Kentes. “It is time for our military families to step out from the shadows and proudly stand beside our service members, accepting both the respect that is long overdue and bringing to light the fact that our families carry the same burden as any military family and deserve the same support and recognition. We intend to work closely with MPFC’s coalition members and other mainstream organizations that embrace the civic responsibility to support all families of those serving our country.”

MPFC looks forward to presenting materials and increase awareness of those who may not be privy to all of the barriers still facing LGB military families and address the ongoing efforts to assist. This event offers an amazing venue of  interested parties to become enlightened and directly engage participants.

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MPFC’s “Faces of Our Families” project is designed to showcase and share our military families with each other and the greater community. From beneath the cloak of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” emerged so many beautiful families who existed the whole time, but couldn’t be truly recognized and celebrated as they should be. Now is the time to share these families’ pictures and stories to associate human faces with the continued fight for full recognition and equality for our military families.

MPFC’s featured family in April is US Coast Guard family Kat, Meg and Elly!

Meg Rapelye (right) is a full-time social work graduate student and resides in the Greater Richmond, VA area with her partner of 6 years, Katrina (center), and their daughter, Elly (left).  Meg is a former active-duty Coast Guardsman and Katrina is currently serving in the Coast Guard, stationed at Ft. Lee, VA.  The family’s favorite pastimes include travelling and outdoor activities.

Six months ago it would have been grounds for discharge for a military member to roll an egg across the White House lawn with her same-sex partner and children. The impact of repealing Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell is in the subtlety of everyday family life, including the opportunity to openly participate as a military family in the annual White House Easter event.

Below are the comments from the MPFC families that participated in the White House Easter Egg Roll. These heartfelt sentiments reflect the appreciation and realization that this level of participation could not have happened just 6 months ago. Thank you Joining Forces.

Meg, Katrina & Elly, U.S. Coast Guard Family:

“Our family had such a wonderful time at the White House Easter Egg Roll! Everyone was so welcoming at the event and we felt very special to be included.  Elly had so much fun getting her face painted, listening to story-time, and taking part in the classic egg roll race.  We really appreciate the opportunity to be part of such a high-profile, public event as a family, which was not possible before the repeal of DADT last fall.  Thank you to the White House, Joining Forces, and the Military Partners and Families Coalition for making our participation possible.  The day will remain cherished in our memories for many years to come!”

Marie, Liz & Betsy, U.S. Army Family:

“We have so appreciated this great opportunity! We felt today was a great experience in many ways, but  was especially poignant because for the first time, our military family  was able to participate just like any other family, which may seem simplistic, but truly means a lot to us, and especially to our daughter. Betsy marveled at all of the different characters who were present and especially enjoyed the “fairy lady”. She liked listening to Corey Simpson, and enjoyed the craft tables, cooking demos, and the farmers’ market. She will eagerly share some quickly printed off photos for sharing tomorrow morning in First Grade! Liz and I enjoyed seeing the White House and the expansive grounds up close for the first time, which are absolutely gorgeous.”

Beth, Jill, Jessica, Diana & Trevor, U.S. Army Family:

“I [Beth] served in the U.S. Army for five years in the field of Public Affairs. My job was to tell the Army story. I did so proudly and worked hard during my enlistment. I always felt such pride for the work I did and the opportunities I had to serve my country. I met many amazing leaders and was impacted by the values the Army teaches – Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Service. I excelled, and in my short time in the Army worked hard to attain the rank of Staff Sergeant because I whole-heartedly believed in what I did.  There was one thing that I always carried with me though, the fact that at any moment my service could be taken away simply for the fact that I am gay.  I felt such pride and irony yesterday at the White House Easter Egg roll. I said to my partner Jill, I never thought I would be standing here at a White House event with an organization celebrating gay military families. I am so proud of this administration for recognizing and honoring us. We are like most other military families – whether active, guard, or veterans. We teach our children the value of serving our country, the value of our military and the pride there is in giving yourself to a cause greater than you. These are the values Jill and I instill in her children”.

It has been half a year since the repeal of the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy that some vehemently argued would deconstruct and inhibit the morale and effectiveness of our military. Ultimately, this has been far from the result. Even after watching numerous similar countries such as the United Kingdom (see below) lift the ban, there was still a premonition of doubt

“But the predictions proved wrong and the military entered its brave new world with surprising ease. A confidential review two years later across all three services found that most officers and junior ranks, particularly among the younger ones, had accepted the lifting of the ban without much comment. It was only amongst the older Senior Non-Commissioned and Warrant Officers that it had met significant resistance.”

-Terry Judd, Independent, UK (27 July 2009)

It is clear that the shift in policy has been largely uneventful. Although, the expansiveness of our military will take time to reorganize the constructs of effective support for our newly accepted family members. We are convinced that there will be continuous progress and even those who may falsely believe that the policy must be reinstated cannot refute the facts. There is no empirical data to support a decline in effectiveness whatsoever and as more families come forward, we can most likely prove that there has been an increased effectiveness.

Sid Standifer, Marine Times (12 March 2012)

Faces of Our Families

 MPFC’s “Faces of Our Families” project is designed to showcase and share our military families with each other and the greater community. From beneath the cloak of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” emerged so many beautiful families who existed the whole time, but couldn’t be truly recognized and celebrated as they should be. Now is the time to share these families’ pictures and stories to associate human faces with the continued fight for full recognition and equality for our military families.

Our first family showcased is MPFC President Ariana Bostian-Kentes and her partner Nicole.

We look forward to showcasing a new MPFC family each month!

For more information about the “Faces of Our Families” project, including how your family can be a part of it, please contactMPFCFacesProject@gmail.com

Last Sunday the Military Partners and Families Coalition (MPFC) and Military Acceptance Project (MAP) co-hosted the first in a series of Virtual Space ‘Hangout.’ This anonymous forum allowed for an international group of families to share their experiences, hardships and hopes as we move forward. Co-Founder and President Ariana Bostian-Kentes shared a few issues of finding the right type of support and MPFC’s ongoing efforts as ‘door-knockers’ to address whether other organizations are willing and able to help LGBTA servicemember family members. There was a large consensus that DADT is only the beginning and neglects the importance of family benefits to same-sex families.

MPFC will continue to advocate on behalf of LGBTA servicemember families and continue identifying coalition organizations to increase awareness and accessibility for our families.

Join us next week for the ‘hang-out.’

MPFC launched a Community Study Survey. This first of its kind survey will provide a better understanding of the health care disparities and possible inaccessibility for lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) servicemember families that may have resulted from the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT)’ policy. It will also highlight some of the challenges that the LGB servicemember family community continues to face. This survey is part of an award from the National Network of Libraries of Medicine.

Take the Survey >>

Download Press Release (pdf) >>

It’s 2012! DADT is history and this really is the beginning of a New Year as military partners are finally able to step out of the shadows…with our families!

We launched MPFC on Memorial Day 2011, and held our “Beyond 61: DADT Repeal Celebration” this past September to raise a glass to repeal, introduce our families and thank partners for their years of silent service.

We are finally able to share our small triumphs and grand celebrations with one another. We’ve received pictures of weddings, deployment reunions, promotion ceremonies and military balls; many of us were able to attend one of these for the very first time! At MPFC it has been our honor to have created a space where you can share your beautiful children, grandchildren and extended families with one another.

We represented our families at the historic OutServe Armed Forces Leadership Summit in October.

MPFC has co-sponsored events coast to coast and our families’ stories have been featured in the Stars & Stripes, the Army Times, National Public Radio, BBC, The Washington Post, and many other outlets.